Goals

Hey guys,

I’ve been in a rut for a minute lately and I’m just sort of thinking through it and trying to feel around it, figure out what it is. You know when you kind of have a plan for things, like for college or life after or a project you’re doing, but at the place you currently are you can’t make those plans happen so you just kind of get stuck in this cycle you’re not happy with and sometimes you just stop happening and life happens to you as it will?

I think I’m in that bit of a spot but with so many different things I’m not sure where to start. I’ll explain.

So before I came to college I was all about getting a philosophy degree, getting into law school, going back to teach in Ghana. Then I got here, and I really like art history and medieval Italian literature, and fashion, and content creation and African studies, and racial politics, and understanding conflicts and post conflict reconstructions, and basically I’m kind of confused as to what direction my life will have or should have, or does have. Like I want to be doing something to get African fashion more mainstream, not so much of an exotic little thing we call ‘tribal’ and sell for 200 dollars, get fashion designers like Papa Oppong more of a spotlight, help our society’s understanding and respect of woman and the female body, have less people buying bleach, and so on. The list goes on for miles.

Like with this blog, I have a really specific aesthetic in my head, and I really want the style part of it to be the focus but also have posts like this where I tell you what’s on my mind and hear what you have to say about it, btw I have a thing coming up that I should be uploading tomorrow that I’m really excited about so look out for that, but I can’t get it to look that way right now and it’s really frustrating because I don’t feel like the way it looks at this moment is representative of me. But then again I keep going because, dedication and commitment are important values- which I am clearly still trying to build.

For my life, I used to say this a lot that my freshman year was difficult and there were some things I wish I’d avoided but to be completely honest, I don’t know that I would want to change that. Because, the thing my freshman year did was force to look at myself and think about myself and just be honest in a way that I was not ready for. But I’m thankful for that because I’m not the same girl that left Ghana last August but I am a more thought through person. And there’s things about me I really want to change because they just make things more difficult than they should be but I don’t know how to start to do that.

Basically, this was a rant about my current rut which is why I haven’t posted in a second but I’m gonna be back full swing.

Do you ever have ruts like this?

Peace, love and funk,

Amoafoa.