Yellow Wrap Dress, Post Semester Wind Down
I learned very quickly, and really the hard way, that I am the kind of international student who needs to go home often to stay sane. After my freshman year when I stayed away for Christmas, I vowed to never do it again. College for me has been at once incredibly rewarding and filled with beautiful people and experiences I will always cherish; and also rather draining and anxiety inducing. Being able to physically remove myself at the end of the semester is a necessary self care practice that allows me to really put my life in reasonable perspective.
Often at school, I get so bogged down by deadlines and the endless list of responsibilities that I start to just go through the motions of every day. After three and a half years, I still don’t know how to combat that. But I do know that I want to live a life that is more intentional than that, more in awe of the blessings that fill my every day.
This post, then, is my post-semester wind down. I always do resolutions for the new year and maybe I’ll do them again this year. I’m thinking I might not, because I never go through with them- I’m trying to find a different way to phrase the things I would like to push myself to do next semester, and for myself and loved ones in the coming year. Let me know if you have any suggestions for that sort of thing, I really would appreciate it.
There are a couple things I did learn through this particularly difficult semester, however, that I would like to pass on. So if you would read on a little further…
Life lessons
The primary thing, was that
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take
is trite, but oh so real. There were things I felt unqualified or under qualified for that I ordinarily would not have even tried, but I did anyway and they all turned out to be great opportunities. I really learned the value in believing in myself enough to put myself out there.
I also learned that you really really need to not try to do everything. I have such a problem with that. This semester, I wanted to be a star academic, a support system for my friends, a Youtuber, a blogger, and a host of other things that just meant I wasn’t very good at any of them. I definitely stretched myself way too thin, and I’m still recovering from it all. I love all these things, but I definitely need to learn to be realistic in my expectations of myself and let some things go.
The last thing I wanted to share, is that people really do matter more that any things you can accumulate, and it’s okay to admit you need help and ask for it. I am so hell bent on being a strong independent black woman don’t need no man that I always push myself too far, don’t talk about how I feel about anything, and sink myself in depths of struggle. And truly, e no need.
I hope you all had awesome semesters, and are doing the introspection thing that the end of the year always induces. I hope you have happy holidays and spend them with the people you love and who love you. That’s something I’ve learned not to take for granted over the past couple years. Anyway, I’m gonna sign out now.
Sending love and light your way,
Amoafoa
